~18~ i don’t care if my engagement ring is cubic zirconia

I don’t care if my engagement ring is cubic zirconia. In a heated, yet still friendly exchange one Friday night this winter, one of my girlfriends told a table of margarita-drinkin’, enchilda-eatin’ Kellogg students that she wouldn’t care if her boyfriend proposed to her with a ring of genu-wine cubic zirconia. “What?? Are you serious?” [...]

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~17~ i don’t care about my shampoo brand

I don’t care about my shampoo brand. Or my conditioner, either, says my sister. She’s not lying. Whenever I go home to New York City to visit her, the shower in her apartment holds some kind of mixed-berry-herbal-essenced bulk thing they were selling at Duane Reade or that puke-green Garnier Fructis bottle. (What is with [...]

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~16~ i don’t care if my food falls on the ground

I don’t care if my food falls on the ground. I will still eat it. Unless the food is wet, or the ground is wet, increasing the likelihood of capture of grainy dirt particles that might mess with the texture of my food. I will still eat it. And the 7- or 10-second rule be [...]

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~15~ i don’t care if I take the last bite of dessert

I don’t care if I take the last bite of dessert. Or any shared food, for that matter, said a couple of friends of mine at lunch in New Orleans this weekend. I’m sure you’ve all been in this situation before. There is a delicious tiramisu, molten chocolate cake, or in our case, Commander’s Palace [...]

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~14~ i don’t care about engagement stories

I don’t care about engagement stories. Surprising conversation with a very reasonable and awesome friend of mine: Her: “I like your blog. I totally care about service in a restaurant. But you know what I don’t care about?” Me: “No. Tell me.” Her: “People’s proposal stories.” Me: “What? Really?? You don’t mean that. I mean, what [...]

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update on ~9~ i don’t care about fingernail clipping

Odd, wonderful and timely, a New York-based artist has taken up my cause against fingernail clipping on the subway. artist jayshells surveyed people on their top pet-peeves — and guess which one made it into his public art campaign?? That nasty nail clipping thing. That I care about. A lot. (Check out the original post [...]

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~13~ i don’t care about food (a guest blog by ed)

I don’t care about food. You may have at one point heard me say that I don’t eat. You may have even heard me say that I like to chew my food, enjoy the flavors, then immediately spit it out to avoid calories. On the contrary, those who truly know me know that I do [...]

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~12~ i don’t care about your facebook status update

I don’t care about your Facebook status update. The only I-don’t-care I have received from more than one person, on independent occasions, is this one. People get pretty fired up about the ego-centrism that accompanies status updates about the state of your cuticles, or the flavor of your post-workout frozen yogurt. In fact, people don’t [...]

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~11~ i don’t care about the NBA playoffs

I don’t care about the NBA playoffs. Apparently these started this weekend. Who knew? I sure didn’t. More generally, I don’t care about the National Basketball Association. Not anymore, anyway. I used to, when I was a kid, and the Knicks were decent. My friend Meredith and her Dad would invite me to exciting home games that I [...]

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~10~ i don’t care about paying taxes

I don’t care about paying taxes. I wish I could say I was a truly good and magnanimous citizen, but this i-don’t-care didn’t originate with me. Because I hate paying taxes. Hate hate hate it. Even though I rationally understand that taxes pay for good things like schools (which I love) and infrastructure/public transportation (which [...]

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