~25~ i don’t care about washing my hands

I don’t care about washing my hands.

Nope, writes one of my best friends, I don’t care. After I get home from taking the subway. Even before I eat. I’ll wash after going to the bathroom, but that’s about it.

Because I personally fall in the camp of taking off shoes before I walk into someone’s home, I should say up front that I am a hand-washer.

I mean, not obsessively. I don’t wash my hands after handling money, for example, even though people say that’s probably the worst kind of stuff you can touch (for more reasons than germs!). But I def wash my hands when I get home, and before I eat. Especially if I am using my hands to eat — you heard me, tahini-free hummus and pita lovers!

But we live in a sanitary world. People just hate the idea of things other people have touched. And they hate germs. And they hate their kids touching germs. Clean hands save lives!, says the CDC.

But the more we wash, the less resilient we become, right? Think about all the dirt and mud that your moms and dads let you eat and smear on your kid sibling. That has made you the healthy, well-adjusted adult you are today.

Says another very old and wonderful friend of mine:

I don’t really care about germs.  By which I mean, I am not at all neurotic about disinfecting things, thoroughly washing fruits and vegetables, using public toilets, or if a bug gets into my mouth or something.  The obviously gross I avoid, but in general if I can’t tell that there’s a potential germ situation, I don’t care.

This is either helping me build a fantastic immune system or a recipe for disaster.

Do you care about washing your hands? Let us know!

~24~ i don’t care about your vacation pictures (a guest blog by tom)

I don’t care to look at pictures from your latest vacation unless you are attractive, or the people you took pictures of are attractive.

You just went to Bora Bora, Buenos Aires, Barbados? Yes, I can fake interest. I’ll ask a few questions and nod my head while you yammer on.

Would I like to see your pictures? Of course I would…if you are attractive or your pictures are of attractive people.

If they are pictures of all the things you saw: beautiful oceans, bountiful jungles or blissful resorts, please next time, send a post card. If the people standing in front of these sights have to wear a t-shirt when they swim to spare their skin, then please do spare me from having to make believable ooohs and aaahs.

But…

If these postcard-esque landscapes have a gorgeous female, or a square-jawed male in the foreground, consider me fascinated. I want to know if these people, who are more beautiful than the landscapes they find themselves in, get access to special vacation places and make friends that my gawky frame and hump schnoz don’t grant me access to. As I flip through these photos, my ooohs and aaahs will surface naturally as I pretend to look at the landscapes in the background.

Truly then, I’ll care.

About Tom:

This is one of many things Tom does not care about while he lives in Chicago and looks forward to getting married this summer. Others include Wisconsin and the environment.

This is Tom on vacation. But you probably don’t care.

if you don’t care, you’re a mugwump

Yes, that’s right, if you don’t care, there’s a word for you in the dictionary.

Word of the Day for Monday, May 10, 2010

mugwump \MUHG-wuhmp\, noun:

1. A person who is unable to make up his or her mind on an issue, esp. in politics; a person who is neutral on a controversial issue.

2. A Republican who refused to support the party nominee, James G. Blaine, in the presidential campaign of 1884.

Mugwump originates in the 19th century as a term for a Republican who refused to support the party nominee, James G. Blaine, in the presidential campaign of 1884. It is a rough adoption from the Algonquian (tribe native to the Massachusetts region) word muggumquomp, “war leader”. In his 1959 novel “Naked Lunch” American author William S. Burroughs uses mugwump as the name of a bizarre creature.

I checked it out online, and it turns out that a mugwump is also:

* a designer of accessories made from recycled and reclaimed materials in Portland, Oregon

* a person who rescues and trains horses in Colorado

* what The Mamas & The Papas were originally named!

Anyway, this may be something you truly don’t care about, but I do! (Thanks to Meredith for finding this gem!) It’s validating to know that we, as a group of people who are neutral on controversial items, have an identity.

Reader, thou art mugwump.

~23~ i don’t care about washing new underwear before I wear it

I don’t care about washing new underwear before I wear it.

Subject: i think i have an i don’t care

Sent: Sun 5/9/2010 7:58 PM

To: Jennifer Yee

__________________________________

But i’m not sure if I don’t care yet…

I don’t care about washing new underwear before I wear it.

I think I don’t care but only care because I’ve been told that’s gross.

Okay, so I have a confession — I’m not sure I care about this either.

I’ve never seen anyone go into, or emerge from a dressing room clutching pairs of underwear, and I generally assume that people do not try these articles of clothing on. So why not wear them new?

I feel similarly about other articles that people probably don’t try on — sock and scarves, for example — but also things that people do try on, such as jeans, and tee-shirts.

Bathing suits? That’s another story.

~22~ i don’t care about msg in my food

I don’t care about MSG in my food.

In fact, I kind of like it. I know it’s a health concern — the AARP suggests it causes, “…tightness in the chest, and a burning sensation in the back of the neck and arms” — but I mean, it’s basically been in everything I’ve eaten since childhood.

The topic came up a few weeks ago, when a few of the students from my Nicaragua trip this past summer had gathered for a reunion, and were having a heated discussion about the five taste categories: sweet, sour, salty, bitter…and MSG.

Well, not exactly. Apparently there is a “savory” category as well — also known as umami — and monosodium glutamate falls into this category, when a Japanese person early in the 20th century discovered that the glutamate in seaweed has a flavor that’s unique and not captured by the other four tastes.

I don’t know. Just think about all the amazing things MSG’s contained in: instant ramen, fast food chinese, potato chips, jerky, bouillon cubes. YUM! Do we trust the studies that MSG is bad, or the articles saying that it’s actually fine?

Do you care about MSG in your food?

~21~ i don’t care if i get carded at a bar

I don’t care if I get carded at a bar.

In honor of post #21, I thought I’d write an homage to turning that glorious age when suddenly the world of bars, clubs, and beers at baseball games welcomes you with open arms. Well, it may have welcomed some of you sooner than it did me (R.I.P. multiple, terrible fake IDs), but you know what I mean.

Now, nearing my third decade, and going out at night with friends my age, I’ve observed a certain level of indignance on the part of people who are just sick of being carded — at bars, restaurants, liquor stores, and 7-11s.

“Don’t I look 21, for chrissakes?” they ask me.

I remember when my Dad was in his 30s and stationed in Austin, TX for job training for a few months, he’d write us postcards home that read:

“Carded at a bar…again! They must really not see a lot of Chinese people down here.” 

Awesome.

Anyway, I figure I’m just going to get carded for the rest of my life — blessing and curse of these genes. I’m okay with it.

People do say that there’s a point where you welcome people thinking that you are younger than you are. Have any of you reached that point?

Or does it still annoy you to get IDed at bars?

~20~ i don’t care if people wear shoes into my house

I don’t care if people wear shoes into my house.

So say my friends over bocce last week in Northbrook. Surprising, no?

I guess I was under the mistaken impression that most people care about this. Think about what we almost step on every day: dog poop, spilled drinks, food remnants, public restroom floors, fertilized grass lawns (especially right now, on a college campus), bird poop. It’s pretty nasty.

Do you want that crap in your home? No you don’t.

Basic conversation went something like this:

Me: “Really? You don’t mind?”

Non-Asian friend: “No. Walk all over with your shoes.”

Me: “But think about where their shoes have been.”

Non-Asian friend: “Nope, I don’t care. And besides, I don’t want to smell your feet.”

Me: “Well, it must be an Asian thing then.”

Asian friend: “I’m Asian. I don’t care.”

Me: <…>

Believe it or not, there is an entire British blog devoted to this topic, which includes, in the sidebar, 37 reasons why you should have a shoes-off policy.

Do you make people remove their shoes when they come into your home?